Animals facebook -funny sms!

If animals had Facebook, these are most likely to be their Status Updates:

Cockroach: Managed to skip being squashed under someone's foot step.. Mahhnnn.!
I lead a dangerous lifestyle..!

Cat: My 7th child is asking who is her dad.. what shall I tell her???,
I don't even remember..:D

Mosquito: I am HIV + this is all due to quaking the wrong one.

Chicken: If tomorow I'm not updating my status, means I am being served at KFC:!